Love is that condition

No shortage of smushy love-stuff on Valentine's Day. My eyes have been glazed over all day. But one quote caught my eye: I'm sure I've seen it before, and I like it because, unlike many uplifting-sounding things, it becomes more true, not less true, the more I think about it.

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." By Robert A. Heinlein, in 'Stranger in a strange land'. I haven't read the book, but I now think I want to.

Because I haven't read the book, I don't know exactly what the author had in mind. But it sums up very well indeed how I feel about complicated little Amy. Not that loving her is ever in doubt, but it helps to disentangle the whole range of conflicting feelings that go along with living alongside, and being responsible for, someone who isn't always okay.

I don't think it'll ever be possible to stop minding about whether she seems happy, or to stop taking it personally when, despite my very best efforts, she just isn't. But it helps to understand the feeling: if I can't make everything right, then everything feels wrong. As with many things, just identifying it goes a long way.